The Programme
WARNING!
Though most programme slots are starting and ending ‘on the hour’, we aim for all items to last until about ten minutes before the hour is up, allowing people time to move to a different room (or to the Bar).
Anything can happen at a Discworld Convention — and anything frequently does! If there are any changes to programme items — times, rooms, or cancellations — they’ll be announced in several ways:
Online
As well as here on the website, you can also access programme information through the Grenadine Event Guide app for iPhone and Android. This has several advantages over the website or the paper version in the ReadMe - including the ability to create your own schedule, and notifications when events change! The event code you need is: DWCon2018. If you were still signed into Grenadine from last time (or other Conventions!), go to 'Switch conference' in the app menu and search for the event code.
Television screens
There are three television screens in the hotel which will provide useful information throughout the convention. Important announcements will be heralded by a cheery ‘bingley-bingley-beep!’. Please feel free to reply en masse with a rousing chorus of ‘oh, do shut up!’.
Twitter and Facebook
We will be manning (or more likely, womaning) our Twitter (@dwcon) and Facebook feeds throughout the convention, and posting announcements there when necessary.
Ops
Ops will have large posters on display with the programme on them. Also, if you've signed up for a slot at a workshop, a Klatch, the RPG or something else determined by lottery, the results of the draw will be posted outside Ops (and usually outside the room) before the event.
List format | Grid format
Friday Saturday Sunday Monday
Friday
Tech Team Briefing
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
Many hands make lights work. Also cameras, sound, video, the stage…
As has been said many times -- the convention runs on volunteers, and not just for the heating. Some of those volunteers sit, stand, roll and crawl behind the scenes, helping create the magic via their technical witchery. If that sounds like fun, come along to the briefing and you too can help out during the con. No experience necessary, training is provided.
Der Troll's Guide For Der Confused
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Attenshun! You look like you need sum guidance to dis Convention an I am da troll what is going to give it to you! Everyone has a first Discworld Convention; and things may initially seem bizarre to you (quack!). You may well have questions. There will also be things to learn that will help you get the most out of the Convention (where Ops is and why you need to go there!). That's where the Troll's Guide comes in.
Make Your Own Bunting!
13:00 - 19:00 (6.0 hours)
Kiddies Corner
In preparation for the Dragon King’s Coronation, there will be a table where people can make their own colourful creations for the celebrations. Draw your own bunting pictures which will be added to strings to decorate Treacle Mine Road.
Klatch: Stephen Briggs
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 11:00 on Friday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Pebble Painting
13:30 - 14:30 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
The Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons is requesting assistance to paint non-flammable “pebble pets” for baby dragons who find it hard to sleep in the current hot and humid weather.
Paints, brushes and pebbles will be provided, and artists are requested to wear suitable clothing. All young artists should be under parental supervision.
Knowing Me Knowing You
14:00 - 16:00 (2.0 hours)
Pseudopolis Yard
Roll up! Roll up! Come meet the Brotherhoods!
We have Brethren, Sistren, and Othren of all shapes and sizes.
We have games…and maybe more *nudge wink*… for all.
So come on down and meet the men, women, apes, vampires, werewolves, zombies, golums, postal
workers and dunnikin divers who will all be helping .
Bring along yourselves, your games and your cookies…all will be welcome!
Klatch: Bernard Pearson
14:00 - 15:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 11:00 on Friday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Klatch Max, with Rob
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Somewhat Maxed-Up [1] Klatch with Rob Wilkins, but still with a limited number of attendees. For this event, no coffee or tea will be provided, but you can bring your own beverage.
These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Please use the Klatch-forms for signing up. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this will close at 12:00 on Friday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to LSpace-I.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
[1] All of the Klatch, none of the Calories
Balloon modelling workshop with a twist
15:00 - 17:00 (2.0 hours)
Ramkin Residence
Here is your opportunity to learn some basic balloon modelling techniques and to take those to the next level. You may start by twisting a dachshund, but why stop there? Build yourself a dragon! Your enemies will find their carefully crafted balloon sword will not help against your dragons. Though, to be fair, there may be a million to one chance that a bit of archery with hatpins might just cause your dragon to perform a loud disappearance act…
Admission Fee: helping for at least an (extra) hour (post workshop), building balloon decorations for the “Not The Gala” event.
Discworld RPG - Five Gods Go to the Seaside
15:00 - 19:00 (4.0 hours)
The Dragon Shed
A Discworld Roleplaying Game demonstration game for up to five players, run by author Phil Masters.
You aren’t much of a pantheon, but the humans of Little Creeper Swamp didn’t ask for too much. But that was before the outside world came knocking with steam and steel. And how can you keep your worshippers down on the swamp, once they’ve seen Quirm? So it’s time to take a trip out of the swamp, to remind wandering worshippers about some old-time religion.
Sign-up for this RPG is at Registration or Ops.
The Signup will close at 12:00 on Friday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Gopher & Watch Briefing
15:00 - 15:30 (0.5 hour)
L-Space II
Want to be more than a tourist and actually make things happen?
If you’ve been a seasoned Gopher or Watchmen, a beginner or just curious to the kind duties might be occurring, come along to the no-obligation Gopher & Watch Briefing to meet the Head Gopher and the Captain of the Watch.
Find out what it’s all about, how we are running things and how it’s working for you. Its all very well to say “I was there!”, but so much better to be able to say “I was there and helped make things happen!”
Klatch: Diane and Peter
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 12:00 on Friday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
First Aid Briefing
15:30 - 16:00 (0.5 hour)
L-Space II
Are you a qualified First Aider who's willing to give a bit of help and support to fellow con attendees? If so please come to this session, with a copy of your first aid certificate, and we'll let you know how it works! Please note: You do need to have a first aid qualification to be an official DW Convention First Aider.
Werewolf - The big one
16:00 - 17:30 (1.5 hours)
Pseudopolis Yard
It's not only members of secret societies that have to keep their identities hidden. Imagine if you were a werewolf in a village of normal[1] people, how well would you remain hidden while still feeding nightly? Now imagine if you were in one of several villages all with werewolves. How do you all stay secret? But if you are a villager, how do you remain safe?
Mega-Werewolf is a Discworld Convention tradition[2] where we play about ten games of the popular identity-discovery game Werewolf at the same time with a Grand Games Master calling out the phases and with each village having it's own GM to arbitrate and manage the chaos. As villages depopulate through werewolf attacks and evictions, we combine the survivors together into ever-smaller numbers of villages until there is only one left[3]. Then we shall see who survives - the villagers or the werewolves!
[1] For a given value of normal in any Discworld village!
[2] Actually, this is the third time the event has run making it a "well-established tradition".
[3] "There can be only one!" - C. MacLeod
Klatch: Ian Stewart
16:00 - 17:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 12:00 on Friday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
The importance and uses of dragons in medicine
16:30 - 17:30 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
The School of Medicine at Unseen University is undoubtedly the most famous medical school in the whole of Ankh-Morpork. Potential applicants interested in studying magicine are invited to attend a sample lecture by dr. Pat Harkin on the importance and uses of dragons in medicine in the Century of the Anchovy and beyond. As this lecture is taking place beyond the boundaries Unseen University campus, witches and other members of the distaff gender will be permitted to attend. Members of PETD[1] are advised that no dragons were harmed in the preparation of this talk.
[1] Peasants for the Ethical Treatment of Dragons
Klatch: Ray Friesen
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 12:00 on Friday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Stephen Briggs reads the telephone book
18:00 - 19:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Stephen’s read many of Terry’s books - often in a tiny, tiny room in Oxford. Here’s your chance to hear him live, performing some of his favourite extracts from the Discworld books.
Opening Ceremony
19:30 - 20:30 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
Come prepared with your hooded robes, we'll provide the deliberately dribbled candles. This is Absolutely Not a Brethren and that is Definitely Not a Dread Portal. The Supreme Grand Master, sorry, Chair, welcomes you to the 2018 Convention, introduces our guests and gives out important information. Beware, your figgins may be toasted in the process.
Bedtime stories
21:30 - 22:30 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
There is no better way to prepare for bed, or bar, than a cuddly toy and some stories straight from the Discworld. Bring your don’t-tickle-me-Errol, and your best pyjamas, and join our selection of guests, as they read from their favourite Discworld book to us.
Singles Meetup Event
22:00 - 23:00 (1.0 hour)
Broken Drum
An informal place where singles from the DW community can see if you can find your Sybil or Sam. Plenty of couples have met through DW fandom. We'll have tools (ahem) in place to make the whole business a little bit easier.We must take a moment to remind you to please do this right - seek consent, be honest, be mature and be aware of the Convention harassment policy.
Lodge Meeting
23:00 - 00:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
This is your chance to join that very exclusive group that goes by the name of "The Ancient And Illustrious Order Of Old Bar Stewards Of Old Ank-Morepork", an order dedicated to raising money for Charity. You will be inducted into the order and gifted with the secret signs and words by which you can recognise another.
PLEASE be prepared to make TWO donations to charity during the meeting (so far the lodge has raised over £1,500 for charity in 4 meetings). You will also receive a fine certificate and ritual book.
Once more with feeling
23:00 - 00:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
Somehow Nobby Nobbs has managed to get both the Peeled Nuts and the Ankh-Morpork Folk Dance and Song Society to work together[1] to recreate a legend of young woman who kept Ankh-Morpork safe from vampires and the like before they became civilised. So come along we will have words so you can sing-a-long/screech-a-long/caterwaul-a-long[2] and have a laugh[3].
[1] He belongs to both and that's all we want to find out
[2] No speaking the singing parts though
[3] Please do not laugh too hard and make a mess
Burlesque Dance
23:00 - 00:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space II
Go behind the scenes at the Skunk Club, haunt of many an off-duty watchman. Find out about the origins of burlesque and have a go at strutting your stuff with Miss Dixy Va Va Voom's introduction to the art of the tease.
Please note we recommend this event is suitable for those over the age of 16 only.
Just A Minute After Dark
00:00 - 01:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Normally, Just A Minute requires its contestants to speak for one minute without hesitation, repetition or deviation. At just a minute past midnight, however, deviance becomes more an expectation than a prohibition, though deviation from the subject or English as she is spoke may as ever be soundly thrashed with a point and a ding.
Just A Minute After Dark may well contain bawdy topics or terrible puns, and is probably – or hopefully, depending on your point of view – not suitable for those of a nervous or junior disposition.
Saturday
Maskerade Rehearsal
08:00 - 13:00 (5.0 hours)
Patrician's Palace
All those performing in the ‘Maskerade’ item must attend this rehearsal. This is to make sure every aspect of your performance will go exactly as planned, and to find out essential information about the evening’s entertainment. Time slots can be booked at the Maskerade table at Registration on Friday and only those who have a rehearsal time slot will be allowed to perform.
Speed corseting for fun and profit
08:00 - 11:30 (3.5 hours)
L-Space II
This is a 3 hour speed corsetting session. You will learn everything to do with fitting Tudor/Renniasance stays/bodice by MAKING YOUR OWN. Yep, you heard that right. The aim is you leave with a completed bodice by lunch time. All materials will be provided. Abi is divesting her personal dragon's hoard of silks and satins so there will be an abundant choice for final costumes/gowns.
SIGNUP NEEDED
There are 12 places available, and picking will be by lottery, with a preference for people who brought their sewing machine!
Signup can happen until 18:00 Friday. After that, the list of luck y members will be published on the wall outside Ops and on the door for L-Space 1
The Tools For Writing
09:00 - 10:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
Writing can often be an intimidating and solitary pursuit. A pen, pencil or typewriter and some paper used to be the only writing tools available. Those tools are still in use today, but there are also computer programs to help build a story from its component parts, or shout at a monitor to good effect, or even edit the end result. Join writers Diane Duane, Peter Morwood, and Mark Oshiro as they talk about what methods and tools work best for them and how they can help you, no matter what kind of writing you are doing!
Der Troll's Guide For Der Confused
09:00 - 10:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Attenshun! You look like you need sum guidance to dis Convention an I am da troll what is going to give it to you! Everyone has a first Discworld Convention; and things may initially seem bizarre to you (quack!). You may well have questions. There will also be things to learn that will help you get the most out of the Convention (where Ops is and why you need to go there!). That's where the Troll's Guide comes in.
Stephen Briggs reads the telephone book
09:00 - 10:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
Stephen’s read many of Terry’s books - often in a tiny, tiny room in Oxford. Here’s your chance to hear him live, performing some of his favourite extracts from the Discworld books.
Nice Boots, Shame about the Bustle! The Victorianisation of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld on Screen
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
The fractured nature of history on Discworld allows different period ideas to be comfortably juxtaposed within the books. When a television network is aiming its adaptation to reach a mainstream audience it looks for more consistency. This presentation will look at how the Victorian themes within the books have been the basis for a more Victorian look in the adaptations. I will poke fun at the unnecessary Victorianisation of costumes and I will ask how this bodes for the upcoming Watch series (Will it just look like Ripper Street?).
Meet Your Brotherhoods: S.Q.u.E.A.K
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
So you have signed up to a Brotherhood. Hurrah!
Now come along and learn the secret passphrase, handshake, plannings and plottings that your
Grand Masters shall impart to you.
What do you mean your thumb doesn’t bend that way?
*sigh* I’m sure the Brotherhoods will accommodate people of all thumb mobility.
Meet Your Brotherhoods: Q.U.A.C.K.
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
So you have signed up to a Brotherhood. Hurrah!
Now come along and learn the secret passphrase, handshake, plannings and plottings that your
Grand Masters shall impart to you.
What do you mean your thumb doesn’t bend that way?
*sigh* I’m sure the Brotherhoods will accommodate people of all thumb mobility.
Meet Your Brotherhoods: ABDABS
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
The Dragon Shed
So you have signed up to a Brotherhood. Hurrah!
Now come along and learn the secret passphrase, handshake, plannings and plottings that your
Grand Masters shall impart to you.
What do you mean your thumb doesn’t bend that way?
*sigh* I’m sure the Brotherhoods will accommodate people of all thumb mobility.
Origami Dragons
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Kiddies Corner
Celebrate the Coronation of Their Majesty, Draco Nobilis I by making your own dragon model. Try your hand at the traditional Japanese paper folding craft.
Primary school-aged children will need some help with this workshop due to multiple instructions and fiddly folding.
Meet Your Brotherhoods: The Watchpersons
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
So you have signed up to a Brotherhood. Hurrah!
Now come along and learn the secret passphrase, handshake, plannings and plottings that your
Grand Masters shall impart to you.
What do you mean your thumb doesn’t bend that way?
*sigh* I’m sure the Brotherhoods will accommodate people of all thumb mobility.
The Emporium Story – So far, so good.
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
In A Hat Full of Sky, Terry wrote ‘It’s still magic, even if you know how it’s done’.
After 25 years working with Terry, Bernard and Reb talk about a little bit of magic from a life spent in the company of Discworld.
The Unsecret Society
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Have you ever felt like your friends and family don't quite get what makes you tick? Do you have unusual interests that you don't bring up immediately with strangers? It can be lifechanging to find a group of people who like the same things as you, and share the same worldview. Especially when they don't mind if you want to talk about dragons! No, this isn’t a panel about secret societies, but about fandom![1] We’ll talk about our experience of Discworld and other fan communities, and why it can have such a big effect."
[1] Fandom is, in essence, an Unsecret Society. We tell everyone. Try and stop us.
Gopher & Watch Briefing
11:00 - 11:30 (0.5 hour)
Ramkin Residence
Want to be more than a tourist and actually make things happen?
If you’ve been a seasoned Gopher or Watchmen, a beginner or just curious to the kind duties might be occurring, come along to the no-obligation Gopher & Watch Briefing to meet the Head Gopher and the Captain of the Watch.
Find out what it’s all about, how we are running things and how it’s working for you. Its all very well to say “I was there!”, but so much better to be able to say “I was there and helped make things happen!”
Klatch Max, with Rob
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
The Dragon Shed
Somewhat Maxed-Up [1] Klatch with Rob Wilkins, but still with a limited number of attendees. For this event, no coffee or tea will be provided, but you can bring your own beverage.
These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Please use the Klatch-forms for signing up. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this will close at 17:00 on Friday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to LSpace-I.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
[1] All of the Klatch, none of the Calories
Free Souvenir Iconograph
11:00 - 13:00 (2.0 hours)
Treacle Mine Road
Have you heard the news? The beast has been brought down! Grab your chance to pose with the dragon before it's arrested and hauled away. Your iconograph will be available as a free download at www.pmdwcon.weebly.com shortly after the convention.
Klatch: Stephen Briggs
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 17:00 on Friday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Knitting the Octopus
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Broken Drum
Daily crafting event where we all get together and knit Octopus creatures.
The tentacles of the Octopus resemble the umbilical cord and have been proven to give comfort to premature babies in incubators.
All skill levels welcome from complete beginners to more experienced yarn kings and queens!
wool, patterns and some pairs of needles will be provided. Bringing your own needles is not a problem.
First Aid Briefing
11:30 - 12:00 (0.5 hour)
Ramkin Residence
Are you a qualified First Aider who's willing to give a bit of help and support to fellow con attendees? If so please come to this session, with a copy of your first aid certificate, and we'll let you know how it works! Please note: You do need to have a first aid qualification to be an official DW Convention First Aider.
The Great Hedgehog Race: Learning the challenge
11:30 - 12:30 (1.0 hour)
L-Space II
“Wanted: Men, Dwarfs and Trolls of stout heart to join friendly club with interesting books to read and an interest in the animal kingdom – No prior experience necessary…..Join this 1 in a million chance to do something that will leave you with a warm feeling…..”
Million to one chances happen nine times out of ten
12:00 - 13:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
by Ian Stewart DACFD (UU)
Well, that’s what it says in in Guards! Guards! Which just goes to show that probability is weird. I’ll explain just how weird, and why. I’ll tell you about the gambling mathematician Girolamo Cardano, who would have been completely at home in Ankh-Morpork. I’ll explain why fair dice aren’t fair. I’ll look at some probability puzzles with a Discworld slant. Finally I’ll transport the Monty Hall Problem into a Discworld setting and we’ll examine whether million to one chances can actually happen nine times out of ten.
PS: no sums. Well, no hard ones.
Creating Characters for the Discworld RPG
12:00 - 13:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
Phil Masters, author of the Discworld Roleplaying Game, introduces the game to beginners and discusses how to create interesting characters using the rules. Dream up new characters living on the Disc, make sure that they’re suitable for the game that your GM is offering, and turn them into a complete, ready-to-play character sheet. This workshop is suitable for beginners and experienced roleplaying gamers. Bring your ideas and questions!
Find the dragon nests...
12:00 - 13:00 (1.0 hour)
Kiddies Corner
The Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick dragons has several baby dragons that have moved outside to nest away from the hustle and bustle. We ask for volunteers to find these nests and identify the dragons using the nest by their Pebble pets.
Activity is suitable for kids, but can be joined by everyone
Klatch: Colin Smythe
12:00 - 13:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 17:00 on Friday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Interview Birdworld
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
Stephen Briggs will interview Duncan Bolton from Birdworld about the park and the new owl parliament dedicated to Terry.
Pulling Back the Curtain: Mark Reads
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Mark Oshiro, of Mark Reads Discworld fame, has spent years reading (and watching!) series while crying and yelling on camera. Join him as he discusses how the project got started, how he remains so prolific on top of writing and touring for his own fiction, and why reading series like Discworld remains so captivating for him.
Back to the Drawing Board
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
Pick up a pencil and create your own portrait of a dragon (or if you like you could have a go at drawing any other Discworld character you choose).
Back to the Drawing Board takes you through the basics showing you how to create the initial shapes, develop the drawing and start to add expression, character and solidity using techniques which can be applied to anything you draw. No previous experience needed!
Go/Fence (kids)
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
The Dragon Shed
The Ankh Morpork City Watch training grounds are being opened up for a limited time to civilians!
Sergeant Colon and Corporal Nobbs will teach you the noble art of prodding using the mostly latest training equipment!
Stab your enemies, stab your friends, stab your dragons, in a safe[1] and cost-effective[2] environment!
Suitable for ages 5-11.
[1] Did we pay the doctor the retainer? - Colon
[2] Nobby - Give them their money back. - Vimes.
How to Steal a Henge
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space II
Is that pesky anti-dragon Brotherhood getting you down?
Are their anti-dragon magicks messing up your dragon-conjuring spells?
Then look no further!
Our spies have discovered that the Anti-Dragon Brotherhood have a Henge in their basement that is the cornerstone of their anti-dragon shenanigans.
Can you get it out without waking the sleeping guards?
Interview Paul Kidby
14:00 - 15:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
Rob Wilkins will interview Paul Kidby about his art and his work on Discworld themed projects.
So What Does Tech Do?
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
Tech bring light to dark and sound to silence (usually... sometimes the reverse is true), and help to create mood and emotion.
Do you want to push our buttons [1]? Do you want to take a peek behind the scenes and find out how all of this works [2]?
Then this is your chance! Come to the Patrician’s Palace, touch the buttons you’re usually not allowed to touch, ask us anything and maybe even join the team.
No experience necessary.
It is still magic once you know how it’s done.
[1] literally.
[2] We’re pretty sure we’ve figured this out.
Translating Stories to Graphics
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
A good story paints a picture in your head. Getting that image out of your head and onto some paper is the tricky part.
In this lecture, Ray Friesen will tell you all you want to know about this tricky part.
Elucidating Brethren - Annotating the Discworld II
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
If you've ever read a Discworld novel and gone: “I’m sure this is a joke or a reference to *something*, but to what?”, this programme item is for you. Over the years, Terry Pratchett's Internet fans have annotated thousands of obscure Roundworld references in his work. In this talk, we share a few more of our favourite examples.
NOTE: this talk is a stand-alone companion to the DEMYSTIFYING PRUNES programme item, but with 100% all-new material.
Divination on the Disc, a witches guide (including CAROC)
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
Elaine Perkins, a hereditary witch from a long line of mad old bats, ahem, well respected ladies, usually reads runes but have turned her hand to a variety of divination methods. For the Convention she will discuss Caroc, Recent Runes and Oggish, comparing round world and discworld method and will include a demo of each.
Detective Stories Quiz
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
The Dragon Shed
Jessica Yates will question you on your general knowledge of detective stories, both of roundworld and discworld fame.
A million-to-one shots
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space II
It is now a matter of when, not if, we will be attacked by a dragon. We need to practice. And, as everybody knows, the only way to defeat a dragon is that million to one shot. So we have a bow, an arrow, an series of possible impediments, contestants and an audience full of suggestions. 999,999 to 1 won't be enough.
Klatch: Daniel Knight
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 12:00 on Saturday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Cats Cradle
15:30 - 16:30 (1.0 hour)
Treacle Mine Road
In the mists of time in British playgrounds, bits of string were used for playing many games so come and learn one of the more genteel ones that doesn't involve being hit with things.
Known as Cats Cradle in my hometown all you need is a loop of string and 2 moving bodies (living and undead personages equally acceptable). We'll provide the string, you provide the bodies...
Interview with Colin Smythe
16:00 - 17:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
Colin will be telling Pat how Terry Pratchett came into his life, his publication of Terry's early books, his time as Terry's agent, untold information about dust-jacket illustrations, the Royal Mail stamps, why Terry moved from Gollancz to Transworld, and much else of interest - with copious illustrations for the discerning fan.
Lifting Pratchett off the page
16:00 - 17:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
Stephen will relate how he came to perform his first audio book, and introduce you to the challenges of performing whole novels for unseen listeners, and the glamour of the audio book industry.
Balloon modelling workshop with a twist
16:00 - 17:30 (1.5 hours)
Ramkin Residence
Here is your opportunity to learn some basic balloon modelling techniques and to take those to the next level. You may start by twisting a dachshund, but why stop there? Build yourself a dragon! Your enemies will find their carefully crafted balloon sword will not help against your dragons. Though, to be fair, there may be a million to one chance that a bit of archery with hatpins might just cause your dragon to perform a loud disappearance act…
Admission Fee: helping for at least an (extra) hour (post workshop), building balloon decorations for the “Not The Gala” event.
Discworld RPG - The Sheep from the Wolves
16:00 - 18:00 (2.0 hours)
The Dragon Shed
A short Discworld Roleplaying Game, demonstration game for up to five players, run by author Phil Masters.
You’re tourists on your way from Borogravia to Zlobenia, and you’ve been told that the pass is safe enough for travellers. But did somebody forget to tell the wolves? They sound very unhappy about something. Well, there must be a safe place to stop for the night. That farmhouse over there, say…
This RPG is designed to be suitable for anyone completely new to roleplaying, or to the Discworld RPG.
Sign-up for this RPG is at Registration or Ops.
The Signup will close at 12:00 on Saturday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Mornington Crescent
16:00 - 16:30 (0.5 hour)
L-Space II
We all know Mornington Crescent, don’t we?
You don’t? Well, we can remedy that!
Throughout the weekend there will be opportunities for EVERYONE to enjoy a game or two of this hilariously frustrating game, but we also have an opportunity for all of you pro-dragon Brethren, Sistren & Othren to obtain those items essential to your dragon materialising spells.
Can you name the stations and stops where can be found the magical objects before the Anti-Dragon Brotherhood find you?
Klatch: Emporium
16:00 - 17:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
Meet one, two or three members of the Emporium!
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 12:00 on Saturday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Troll Bridge Unleashed
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
TROLL BRIDGE took fifteen years to make, and it’s done, so where is it already? Director Daniel Knight discusses the film festival gauntlet, pledge delivery, and will screen for your pleasure some exclusive footage from the film itself. Want to SEE and HEAR what all the hype is about? Then this is the panel for you
Readthrough of 'Men At Arms'
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
Fancy a bit of that there acting but don't want to spend all Con rehearsing? Then maybe the DWCon Radio Play is for you! Gonne in 60 Seconds, Men at Arms will be a true blast with D'Eath in Ankh-Morpork.
Previous acting or voice over experience welcome but not essential. If you'd like to take part or leave me a note on Thursday.
Performance is using excerpts of Stephen Briggs' stage adaptation, with the kind permission of Stephen Briggs and the Estate of Sir Terry Pratchett.
Morris For Minors
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space II
Morris is for all ages, so we couldn't leave out the younger Convention goers.
Come along and dance another Border favourite. We don't have 'Mrs Widgery's Lodger' but we do have 'Uncle Bernard's Polka'.
No age limits and accompanying adults welcome to join in.
Klatch: Peter and Diane
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 12:00 on Saturday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
On travelling the byways and highways of life in the company of a remarkable man.
17:30 - 18:00 (0.5 hour)
L-Space I
Bernard Pearson will include journeys that didn't get there and others that did, but only after much ingenuity and clenching of the bladder.
Behind the scenes of Good Omens
18:00 - 19:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
Rob and Neil talking on video. Probably about the good Omens Production.
And then Rob talking about that.
Morris For The Uninitiated
19:00 - 20:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
Two (or more) left feet?
Don't know your left from your right?
Want a taste of what Nobby does on his night off?
Here's your chance to learn to dance the Morris.
Courtesy of Ankh-Morpork Folk-Dance and Song Club, you'll be led through a simple, traditional Border Morris dance in easy stages - and without a groinin' in sight!
No experience needed, just suitable footwear and a sense of fun.
Only Connect
19:00 - 20:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Secret societies are connected by a common goal, but can you tell what connects four apparently random clues? Join us for a Discworld version of the famously difficult BBC quiz show and pit your wits against the connections, sequences, missing vowels and the infamous connecting wall!
Klatch: Ray Friesen
19:00 - 20:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 12:00 on Saturday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Maskerade
20:00 - 22:00 (2.0 hours)
Patrician's Palace
Join us for a night of entertainment provided by your fellow con-goers as they compete for the honour of winning the coveted Maskerade ‘Best in Show’ Trophy. There are several categories to compete in with fabulous costumes and Pat Harkin guaranteed.
Maskerade Break
22:00 - 22:30 (0.5 hour)
Patrician's Palace
This isn't an ordinary interval! Enjoy the talents of the Brotherhoods whilst the judges leave to deliberate. This (probably) rehearsed item will keep you all going whilst you wait.
The Hedgehog Party
22:00 - 02:00 (4.0 hours)
L-Space I
The Hedgehog Party started out as a birthday celebration for the alt.fan.pratchett usenet group, and was so successful it became the Convention's standing party, or the best place to let your hair loose and the hood of your robe down on a Convention Saturday night!
The party often involves strange and wonderful foodstuffs and drinks from all over the Disc, as well as some strange concoctions no sane man should drink but plenty do... In short, everyone is welcome to join, and if you have a strange food item or drink you wish to inflict on others, do bring it along!
Maskerade & Weapons photo shoot
22:00 - 23:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
PLEASE NOTE:
This is a rough time estimate. The item will not start until the Maskerade is over.
You’ve seen them perform... now it’s your chance to grab iconographs of our Maskerade stars. An opportunity for iconographers to get some great shots, and for Maskerade entrants to be painted by a variety of imps.
Maskerade entrants and iconographers are invited to attend as soon as the Maskerade is finished. Official iconographs will be available for free download at www.pmdwcon.weebly.com shortly after the convention.
Maskerade - Results
22:30 - 23:30 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
The moment everyone has been waiting for - the announcement of the results from the Maskerade judging! Who will be lifting the trophy for 2018?
Sunday
Q&A With Daniel Knight
09:00 - 10:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
TROLL BRIDGE director Daniel Knight answers your questions live, with a hard drive full of images, footage, and behind the scenes content. Want to know more about breaking into effects, dealing with animals on set, and surviving the pressure cooker that is the most complicated short in history? Come along for a live recording, and get your questions heard! Panel to be broadcast online and feature on the DVD.
Marmaduke Mousington
09:00 - 10:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
Everyone’s favorite time travelling mouse! The long lost children’s book by Josh Kirby.
Join Ray Friesen while he talks about this projects
Dancing with the Nac Mac Feegle
09:00 - 10:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
The Ankh Morpork Folk Dance and Song Society are ready to get you on your feet with a selection of jigs and reels learned at great personal risk from the Nac Mac Feegle. Follow in the footsteps of Cpl. Nobby Nobbs (hopefully not too literally) with the flyin’ o’ the kilts and the flexin’ o’ the knees in dances that are guaranteed legal to perform within Ankh Morpork.
ABRACADABR-OOPS!
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
Magic-users in fantasy fiction just point their staffs or wands, recite a spell and BOOM! Things happen! The wizards of Unseen University make best use of magic by not using it at all (except for the Dean), but other fantasy magic-users seem to have a bottomless supply of power. Where does that power come from? And what happens if they run out, or get it wrong?
Church of Om
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
The Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night aren't the only secret society in Ankh-Morpork. As part of his research project into other faiths, Omnian Brother Grin-Benevolently-But-Knowingly-At-Passing-Sinners has covertly attained Ipsissimus rank in at least three different brother- and sisterhoods at the same time. (The High Exasperated Sister of the Daughters of Anoia is a bit hard of hearing). He would now like to share his results by presenting a short run-down of these societies, their objectives their and rituals. For is it not written, "Those that know their enemies will plague them with admonitory pamphlets?" and "Burns Night next Tuesday - Bring Your Own Heretic!" Brother Grin will need the help of some willing acolytes, and as usual, we will all bask in Om's glory with some hearty and uplifting hymns.
Go/Fence
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
The Ankh Morpork City Watch training grounds are being opened up for a limited time to civilians!
Sergeant Colon and Corporal Nobbs will teach you the noble art of prodding using the mostly latest training equipment!
Stab your enemies, stab your friends, stab your dragons, in a safe[1] and cost-effective[2] environment!
Suitable for ages 12 and up.
[1] Did we pay the doctor the retainer? - Colon
[2] Nobby - Give them their money back. - Vimes.
The Watch wants You!
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Treacle Mine Road
Join the Cable Street Irregulars and assist the Watch in solving a crime.
Can you find the clues and find out Whodunnit – and Wheredunnit and Whatdunnit with?
A mystery scavenger hunt for all ages who want to be fine upstanding citizens of Ankh-Morpork and help the Watch keep order….”
Klatch: Stephen Briggs
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 17:00 on Saturday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Bringing the Discworld to life
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
The Emporium has been bringing the Discworld to clay, metal, paper and cloth, for over 25 years.
Join them, while they chat with other guests, about the many different shapes and shades the Discworld can be brought to life.
Charity Auction
11:00 - 13:00 (2.0 hours)
Pseudopolis Yard
Ever wondered what happens when the Thieves' Guild members go over their quota?
Well wonder no more. All items that are procured via going over quota by the Thieves' Guild are handed over for redistribution.
The Patrician thought that might be an ideal solution. So he ordered the formation of the Guild of Auctioneers, Auctionettes and Auction Managers with the aim to sell these items to the highest bidder and redistribute the wealth to the charities chosen by the Convention they are attending.
The auction isn't just for buying things, the Auctionettes have all been schooled in various ways of presentation and this often is just as amusing as the items they are parading around the room.
The head Auctioneer Pat Harkin will be at the front making sure you empty your wallet for a selection of items that are as eclectic as they are rare.
Please remember your bidding paddle from your membership pack otherwise you will be issued with a Paddle of Shame and of course, your bulging wallet.
Mark Oshiro Reads Discworld… Live!
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Join Mark Oshiro, of Mark Reads Discworld fame, as he reads something special from the Discworld universe while remaining completely unspoiled as to what it is[1]. No spoilers allowed so that Mark can experience this piece completely new!
[1] Seriously, he wrote the blurb for this item, and he doesn’t even know what the will be reading. He is… frightened.
Live Guards! Guards!
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
A live version of the Guards! Guards! game that was created by Backspindle
The Great Hedgehog Race: Crafting Time
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space II
So, you have been creative so far. Perhaps already glued yourself to a chair, or accidentally stapled yourself to the floor.
And maybe you even had a cunning plan before the unfortunate incident.
If you are joining in with the The Great Hedgehog Race, this is the place to be if you want to know if your plan is bringing you in the right direction.
Klatch: Colin Smythe
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 17:00 on Sunday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Knitting the Octopus
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Broken Drum
Daily crafting event where we all get together and knit Octopus creatures.
The tentacles of the Octopus resemble the umbilical cord and have been proven to give comfort to premature babies in incubators.
All skill levels welcome from complete beginners to more experienced yarn kings and queens!
wool, patterns and some pairs of needles will be provided. Bringing your own needles is not a problem.
Drabble Competition - Stephen Reading 500 words
12:00 - 12:30 (0.5 hour)
Patrician's Palace
Also this year we have held the Discworld Convention Drabble competition.
Various members sent in their exactly-one-hundred-words-long story, and this is the culminatoin of it. Come and listen to Stephen Briggs as he reads the five finalist stories.
After the reading, you can still cast your vote, until voting closes on Sunday evening.
The winner will be announced at the Closing Ceremony.
Just A Minute
12:00 - 13:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
The Fraternal Order of Watchpersons invites you to pit your wits against others who may (or may not) also be in possession of wits. Speak on a subject you are given for sixty seconds without hesitation, repetition or deviation, and earn great glory, fame, fortune or at least a fistful of points for your society. In the meantime, you may practice with the subjects: "My secret society's visiting address", “My biggest crimes” or “Where I like to hide”. Feel free to submit your practice run by letter to the Information Gathering Office, The Palace, Broad Way, Ankh-Morpork.
Go/Fence
12:00 - 13:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
The Ankh Morpork City Watch training grounds are being opened up for a limited time to civilians!
Sergeant Colon and Corporal Nobbs will teach you the noble art of prodding using the mostly latest training equipment!
Stab your enemies, stab your friends, stab your dragons, in a safe[1] and cost-effective[2] environment!
Suitable for ages 12 and up.
[1] Did we pay the doctor the retainer? - Colon
[2] Nobby - Give them their money back. - Vimes.
Klatch: Ian Stewart
12:00 - 13:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 17:00 on Saturday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
The Radio-Project
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
Rob Wilkins and Dirk Maggs talk about adapting Discworld to audio format.
Charity Auction - Collection
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
You did it! You managed to win an item in the Charity Auction, despite the "fiery" competition.
Here is where you get to pay, collect your goodies, walk off with them, drag them to your lair - and sleep on it. Preferably in that order
Please ensure that you physically collect them. We don't want to repeat the Unfortunate Coffin incident of 2010.
Here Be Dragons
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
We love dragons, especially likkle Errol! Why are they so compelling? What do dragons say about us? How does Terry's portrayal of dragons in the Discworld compare to other literary lizards - from Temeraire to Toothless to Targaryen, from Smaug to Zmei Gorynich, from Hungarian Horntail to Hei Lung... Our panel discusses dragons in literature and take audience questions, ideally without getting, er, hot under the collar.
Great Balls of (Dragon) Fire
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
Beware of Dragons – for they are terrible and Watchmen are small and very prone to falling down….
Help a dragon defeat the watch in a game of skill that anybody can play – all you need is the balls to play – Fireballs!
Children's Fancy Dress
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space II
The children's version of the Discworld's ultimate fashion show, without all the pesky adults trying to hog the limelight.
If you're aged 14 or under and want to take part, grab your costume, bring a parent and show off your skills!
Klatch: Mark Oshiro
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 17:00 on Saturday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
The Watch
14:00 - 15:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
Rob Wilkins and Simon Allen talk about adapting the Watch series for BBC television
Things that might have happened. If only …….
15:00 - 15:30 (0.5 hour)
Patrician's Palace
Various anecdotes by Bernard Pearson. Do NOT ask about the Discworld Burial Ground
The Draw-off
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
“Put your pencil to the mettle! And then draw fun pictures.”
Join Ray Friesen and a selection of our finest artists as they see if the pencil is indeed mightier than the sword.
Geology of Discworld
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
The MMBU memorial lecture will be given by Ms Patricia Murray, graduate of the Quirm College for Young Ladies MA MSc, member of the Trespasser's society and recently, a peripatetic Teacher of Jograffy: all major land masses and oceans. PLUS everything you need to know about glassiers!
This lecture is traditionally free and open to all guilds and UU members[1]. The core materials will include the geological features of Discworld and the processes that act on it. Hazards of fieldwork and the challenges of exploration will be delved into. (No Dragons were harmed during the preparation of this lecture.)
[1] including students.
The Orangutan Foundation
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
Orangutan Foundation saves The Librarian’s critically endangered wild cousins and their tropical forest home. The charity’s staff actively protect vast areas of orangutan habitat and rescues orangutans, which are at risk, or are being kept as pets. These apes are released into a protected wildlife reserve. Apes too young for release are cared for until old enough to survive. The charity is delighted to be at the convention once again to talk about their work. They will also be running orangutan mask workshops. Visit their stall and support their work by buying orangutan soft toys, T-shirts, and palm-oil free soaps.
A glimpse behind the purple shirt
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
The Dragon Shed
Everything you always wanted to know about the Discworld Convention but were afraid to ask. You are in this dragon-invested area, and everything is moving smoothly (I sincerely hope). But how does it actually work? Who are these people calling themselves Concom? They look terribly busy at the Convention, they answer your emails, your requests, but do they still have lives? How do they select a hotel, how do they decide what goes on, and where? What happens behind the scenes? This is the time and place to find out.
Discworld PenPals
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space II
Sure, the Clacks is faster, but a letter is more than just a message.
Would you like to find friends in the greater Discworld fan community? Do you thirst for authentic tales from strange and exotic locales? Choose your stationery, put pen to paper, and experience the thrills and spills of the pen pal exchange.
Here you will write your introduction letter, then place it in the mail bag. The Postmaster General will then personally deliver your missive to a mystery XXXX'ian pen pal at the next Australian Discworld Convention.
Klatch: Phil Masters
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 12:00 on Sunday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Strangely Fascinating
16:00 - 17:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
Making a triumphant return for your stimulation and delectation, please welcome the astonishing spectacle that is Strangely Fascinating, (aka QI for Discworld) as Honoured Guests and Learned Pundits vie for supremacy in knowledge, sparkling wit and repartee in this beloved panel game. Our theme for this foray into the tantalisingly obscure and arcane is, of course, all about dragons. or Guards. Or maybe Guarding Dragons.
As always, your urbane and erudite hosts are Messrs Harkin and Boote, who will entertain three towering intellects of renown, whose conversational skills in bamboozlement and rhetoric are guaranteed to amaze and delight.
How to Buckle a Swash
16:00 - 17:30 (1.5 hours)
Pseudopolis Yard
When a new recruit joins the Watch, you can't just give them a sword and tell them to get on with it. You must teach them how to use it, how to eat with it, how to sleep with it...
Peter Morwood and Orjan Westin will explain and demonstrate what this meant, historically.
The City Watch saga, a triumph in multiple genres
16:00 - 17:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
In this talk Jessica Yates hopes to demonstrate that each City Watch novel belongs to a genre or sub-genre of popular fiction as well as being, of course, a work of fantasy. For each novel Jessica suggests an alternative genre, and also analyses the understories lying beneath the basic narrative, in which Night Watch is especially rich. She will also discuss the most important cultural allusions, especially those which are not listed on the two sets of annotations on the l-space website. We conclude with a look at Snuff, which in her opinion is inspired by the English detective stories of the Golden Age in the tradition of Agatha Christie and her peers.
Running a Discworld RPG Campaign
16:00 - 17:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
Phil Masters, author of the Discworld Roleplaying Game, is your guide to setting up an ongoing campaign using this game. Where on the Disc will it be set? What kind of characters do you want players to create, and how do you help them do so? What sort of stories do you want to help make happen? How do you prepare for games, deal with the unexpected, and keep things moving along? This workshop is suited to anyone looking to run the game, or just curious about how to make it work. Bring your ideas and questions!
Dreadfull Passphrase
16:00 - 17:00 (1.0 hour)
The Dragon Shed
The Anti-Dragon Brotherhood are plotting! but you have all found their Dread Lair ™
Now all you have to do is recite the Dreadfull Passphrase back to the Dreadfull Doorkeeper.
You all seem like smart beings, so this should be easy as a very easy pie
*whisper whisper* What do you mean you have no idea what I just said? Oh deary me…
Klatch: Emporium
16:00 - 17:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
Meet one, two or three members of the Emporium!
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 12:00 on Sunday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
How to Guard the Guards?
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Join self-proclaimed logistics geek Diane Duane as she explores the different ways the City Watch is run
The Friendship Project for Children
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
Friendship Project for children, established in 1986, is a local Coventry & Warwickshire befriending charity for disadvantaged children age 6 -16, referred by either local schools or children's services. Our volunteers (Older Friends) provide approx 3 hours a week, for an average period of 2.5/3 years, of 1-on-1 attention with the child (Younger Friend) helping them to improve their confidence, self esteem and at the same time have some fun. The charity has helped over 1,000 local children. They are currently supporting 65 children and have a similar number on their waiting list. Funds and additional volunteers are welcome.
Guards! Guards! Roundworld- style
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
The Dragon Shed
We may not have Vimes, Carrot, Angua or Cheery but we do have our own characters and odd events.
Hear some tales and anecdotes from the roundworld watch. Fact Stranger than Fiction? You decide.
Back to the Drawing Board
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space II
Pick up a pencil and create your own portrait of a dragon (or if you like you could have a go at drawing any other Discworld character you choose).
Back to the Drawing Board takes you through the basics showing you how to create the initial shapes, develop the drawing and start to add expression, character and solidity using techniques which can be applied to anything you draw. No previous experience needed!
Presented by artist Cheryl van Burgh.
Klatch: Daniel Knight
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 12:00 on Sunday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Morris For The Initiated
17:30 - 18:30 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
They call it the Cuckoos Nest fnar fnar ..
A second opportunity to experience the Dark Art of Border Morris.
Test your stamina as you come face to face with a Gypsy, tackle a Petronella turn and find out the difference between a reel and a hey, all while learning one of the most popular modern Border Dances.
Previous dance experience of any type helpful but not essential, although you will need to be reasonably fit.
Demystifying Prunes - Annotating the Discworld I
18:00 - 19:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
If you've ever read a Discworld novel and gone: “I’m sure this is a joke or a reference to *something*, but to what?”, this programme item is for you. Over the years, Terry Pratchett's Internet fans have annotated thousands of obscure Roundworld references in his work. In this talk we share some of the best examples.
NOTE: this stand-alone companion to the ELUCIDATING BRETHREN talk is a repeat of a 2016 DW Convention programme item.
Klatch Max, with Rob (EXTRA)
18:00 - 19:00 (1.0 hour)
The Dragon Shed
Somewhat Maxed-Up [1] Klatch with Rob Wilkins, but still with a limited number of attendees. For this event, no coffee or tea will be provided, but you can bring your own beverage.
These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Please use the Klatch-forms for signing up. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this will close at 12:00 on Friday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to LSpace-I.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
[1] All of the Klatch, none of the Calories
Pre Coronation Dinner Drinks
18:30 - 19:00 (0.5 hour)
Treacle Mine Road
As part of the Coronation celebrations, there will be a glass of bubbly [1] available for all who have paid their tribute to the Dragon King.
[1] or non alcoholic alternative
Gala Green Screen Photo Booth
18:30 - 20:30 (2.0 hours)
Kiddies Corner
Did you pose with the dragon for your free iconograph on Saturday? Why not see where else the magic of green screen could take you! Simply choose from the range of backgrounds on offer and pose for our iconographer. Your purchased print will be posted to a Roundworld destination of your choice. Those not attending the Gala dinner are encouraged to visit before and during the meal to avoid the queue.
The Coronation Banquet
19:00 - 21:30 (2.5 hours)
Patrician's Palace
For those who have already paid the appropriate tribute, Their Majesty, Draco Nobilis I, will celebrate their coronation with a grand three course banquet with accompanying entertainment.
Toast and Jam
19:00 - 01:00 (6.0 hours)
L-Space I
Our traditional open mic music night and sing-along! Kick back and listen to talented con-goers as they play and sing popular tunes, filks and original products of their curious minds. Take your hallowed place among them: you know you want to (but really no pressure…). Borrow our instruments and sheet music or bring your own.
Early joiners are marvellous, but we also love the influx when the Gala Dinner finishes, or any other time.
The Street Party
19:00 - 01:00 (6.0 hours)
Treacle Mine Road
The wonderful Landlady herself (Kirstine) will be hosting a fabulous Street Party with games, giggles, a selection of Named BBQ Meats[1] and candy floss! Festivities shall take place along the length of Treacle Mine Road, and will encompass a wide variety of diversions to Delight All Ages, including face painting, balloon modelling, and much more. Attendees are both welcomed and encouraged to bring their own board or card games to liven up the party further.
[1] And named vegetables for those inclined
Cpt Carrot's Special Constable Training
20:00 - 00:00 (4.0 hours)
Kiddies Corner
Urchins, Street RATS, Raggamuffins, et.al., thee Watche, Needs You!
Come to, Treacle Mine Road Watch Hosue. And pressent yourselfs to Cpt Crrt IrnFOUNDERRson
Reward: Ane Badge and Rank, in Thee Watche.
Dungeons & Dragons & Discworld! A 1 to 2 hour adventure where you play special urchin constables and go through Captain Carrot's training day. Fight monsters! Get treasures! Save The DAY!
Max players: 5
Age: 8-16
Poor Life Choices - Create Your Own Storytelling
22:30 - 00:00 (1.5 hours)
Patrician's Palace
James Webster has been writing about magic and dragons since he was very little. And he's not just saying that to appease the Dragon King!
Despite his affinity for dragons, he’s probably more like a golem. Only he’s made out of words and someone was daft enough to let him write his own chem.
His book of short fiction, Heroine Chic, is published by Inspired Quill. He recently placed 3rd in Hammer & Tongue’s National Poetry Slam. You can find his work online at strangelittlestories.tumblr.com. And he’ll be performing his CYOA storytelling show (Poor Life Choices) after the gala dinner."
Dr Horrible's sing-along blog
23:00 - 00:00 (1.0 hour)
Ramkin Residence
Another dragon has escaped from where they lay dormant to a universe where dragons do not exist. In order to survive it became a horse bent on taking over the world[1]. Here is the story of 1 man trying to join its league, through chaos and destruction[2] whilst singing. So come and join us to sing along, shudder when a henchman is named[3] and be traumatised by the ending.
[1] Yes I know it doesn't make sense but I didn't write it
[2] And failing most of the time
[3] Unless you like the word MOIST AHAHAHAHA!!!!! [4]
[4] *Coughs* Sorry carried away but dried frog pill taken
Monday
Swamp Dragon's Den
09:00 - 10:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Do you have what it takes to face the Swamp Dragons Den? Are you the next Leonard da Quirm[1]? Have you got an idea for the next great invention or social, civic or economic improvement that Ankh-Morpork needs[3]? Would you like a chance to present that idea to some of the most influential Discworld persons we can find on short notice[4]? Bring your invention or idea to this once-in-a-lifetime[5] chance to impress Dr Hix and his panel of judges.
We will be taking presentations from Convention attendees who have pre-registered their idea with us first then opening the floor up to members of the audience if we have time.
[1] Or B.S. Johnson we suppose, his heart was in the right place after all[2].
[2] We got an Igor to check.
[3] Or doesn't know it needs yet but surely would if only someone would take the time to listen to you...
[4] And maybe Roundworld too if we can persuade the UU Wizards to make a portal or two.
[5] No, that doesn't mean we are going to inhume you if the idea is bad... well, probably not[6]...
[6] That really depends if Lord Vetinari is a judge, we suppose.
Discworld RPG - The Sheep from the Wolves
09:30 - 11:30 (2.0 hours)
L-Space II
A short Discworld Roleplaying Game, demonstration game for up to five players, run by author Phil Masters.
You’re tourists on your way from Borogravia to Zlobenia, and you’ve been told that the pass is safe enough for travellers. But did somebody forget to tell the wolves? They sound very unhappy about something.
Well, there must be a safe place to stop for the night. That farmhouse over there, say…
This RPG is designed to be suitable for anyone completely new to roleplaying, or to the Discworld RPG.
Sign-up for this RPG is at Registration or Ops.
The Signup will close at 12:00 on Sunday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
How to Raise a Dragon
10:00 - 12:00 (2.0 hours)
Pseudopolis Yard
So you have obtained all those lovely dragon raising spell ingredients and you are ready to go!
WooHoo!
But, oh no, what’s this, the Anti-Dragon Brotherhood have discovered the locations of the Super-Secret Lodges of all of the pro-dragon Brotherhoods.
Defend! Defend!!
Terry Memorial
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Video from the memorial which was held in April 2016, with an introduction from Rob Wilkins
Klatch: Stephen Briggs
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at XX:00 on XXX.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Why Guards! Guards! is the second best Discworld Book
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
Everyone has their own idea about which Discworld book is the best. For some of us this is a firm favourite, or the first Discworld book we read, but for many of us it depends on our mood at the time, or which book we last read. If you were asked to name your top three would Guards! Guards! be in there?
This presentation will look at the reasons 260 people gave for choosing Guards! Guards! in a 2007 survey of 1,323 fans.
The Great Hedgehog Race: Finale
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Treacle Mine Road
This is it; your time to shine! Or is it perhaps your time to burn, shrivel and crumble.
If you spend time this week-end to craft in the Great Hedgehog Race, this is where you show off all the hard work.
Did you spend time doing other things? Great, then you will much appreciate the spectacle of seeing other peoples hard work in action!
Klatch: Pat Harkin
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 17:00 on Sunday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Knitting the Octopus
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Broken Drum
Daily crafting event where we all get together and knit Octopus creatures.
The tentacles of the Octopus resemble the umbilical cord and have been proven to give comfort to premature babies in incubators.
All skill levels welcome from complete beginners to more experienced yarn kings and queens!
wool, patterns and some pairs of needles will be provided. Bringing your own needles is not a problem.
Narrativia Q&A
12:00 - 13:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
Everything you still want to ask Rob Wilkins, regarding all the Narrativia information that was presented during the Convention.
Troll Bridge Unleashed AGAIN!!!!!
12:00 - 12:30 (0.5 hour)
L-Space I
For those who were unable to come to the viewing of Troll Bridge on Saturday, Troll Bridge will be unleashed again
Klatch: Ray Friesen
12:00 - 13:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch
A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of festival goers can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.
Signup for this Klatch will close at 17:00 on Sunday.
The badge-names of the lucky members (as well as those of two backups) will be posted at the 'announcement wall' near Ops and at the door to Klatch.
The list will also be shown on the TV-screens.
Stephen Briggs Q&A
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
Pseudopolis Yard
Stephen’s happy to open the floor to questions and to ramble on about anything you want to quiz him about. Ask anything you like - though he doesn’t guarantee to answer!
So you think you can do it better?
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
L-Space I
We really hope you enjoyed the Convention up until now, but we also always try and improve how we do things. This is your chance to tell us of any issues you encountered, or of any ideas you have to improve the Convention as a whole.
Bonus points if you have a good suggestion on how to keep the dread portal from sticking!
Night Watch
14:00 - 17:00 (3.0 hours)
Patrician's Palace
Do you hear the people sing? NOT THIS YEAR. Join the revolution and fight for Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably Priced Love and a Hard Boiled Egg. Vimes finds himself back in his own past, taking the place of John Keel, teaching his younger self all he knows, pursuing a murderer and there's a revolution just around the corner. Adapted by Stephen Briggs.
Closing Ceremony
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
Patrician's Palace
It is time for important announcements such as the fate of the Supreme Grand Master, What Happens Next and also who has won prizes. Join us to officially end the 2018 Convention and to say goodbye and thank you
Dead Monkey Party
19:00 - 00:00 (5.0 hours)
Treacle Mine Road
The closing ceremony has been and gone. The guards' day ends, the acolytes go back to their day jobs, the dragon is defeated/crowned (delete as applicable) and we return to real life. Or that's the theory, at least.
For those still awake, there's always the night shift. The Dead Monkey Party is the traditional rude gesture to the idea of packing one's metaphorical toys away, and is usually certain to involve much music, snacks and nonsense. Expect leftover sweets from other parties, pelvic thrusts that really drive you insaaaaaane, and much sleep-deprived rambling.